Love has no limits and generates unknown, intense, passionate and often obsessive feelings. The line that separates intense love from excessive, obsessive and dependent love is so thin that without realizing it we can find ourselves involved in a dependent love story. Obsessed with her love, Belén discovered herself one day and she told us her story.
Love excessively
- At first it was not so much love, but rather adoration. I adored Luis, he seemed to me the sexiest man, the most charming, the most fascinating, the most incredible, the most everything. And I thought it necessary for him to know. So he was continually kissing her, caressing her, touching her. Being in contact with a part of his body was essential to me. I needed his skin. All the time.
- I thought that this need to be by his side all the time, touching him, looking at him, was normal due to that outburst of falling in love. But my need for Luis grew more each day. I also thought that he would be flattered by so much attention, but I did not realize that my adoration was excessive.
- There came a time when she couldn’t bear to be apart from him. When Luis went out somewhere without me, he sends him messages. All the time. And it wasn’t out of jealousy, it was because I needed to feel close to him. The need for him grew more and more. Even I realized that she was obsessed with loving him, with him noticing. Perhaps because she hadn’t loved any man as much as Luis.
Love calmly
- One day Luis wanted to talk to me. No, he didn’t want to break the relationship. The truth is that I was the woman of his life. That’s what he said. But he felt suffocated. I knew it, there was no need for him to continue speaking. I asked him if my love was too much for him and he said no, he also loved me too much. What was excessive was my demonstration of that love.
- So I asked him to teach me to love calmly. And he explained to me that in order to love each other forever we had to maintain a touch of independence. Space. A personal space in which everyone developed at their own pace, enriching each other separately and then sharing those different experiences. It was not about putting limits on love, but on need.
- And I’m still learning to love calmly. But now I don’t get anguished when Luis leaves because I know he’ll come back to tell me how things went. Because he has to share it with me again. And I still have a long way to go to put aside my obsession with love. A path that at times I walk alone and other times with Luis’s hand.